How To Have A Wedding Day That is Personal & Well-Lived

One of the greatest myths surrounding the wedding day is that it will go by so fast you won’t remember a second of it.  Here’s the beautiful truth: it doesn’t have to be that way.  It’s possible to experience every glorious second and remember it forever. It’s not hard either. The night is young friend, and the world is your oyster, so let’s talk about how to make this all about you (in a good way).

So here are some 5 simple things to keep in mind during your wedding day, in no particular order. Oh, and one more thing, we know that everyone is different – that’s what this is all about – the most important thing is that you do what’s right for you and your personal preferences. If you read one of these tips and you instantly feel like “that’s not me, I don’t agree,” that’s awesome, because you shouldn’t be listening to us anyway… No need to drink the kool aid. Just swish it around a bit, give it a gurgle and spit it out. In other words, take these tips and use what works for you.

• Make it personal, not perfect. Your wedding day won’t be truly perfect. It can’t be “perfect” in the true sense of the word at least. It can be amazing and beautiful and personal though. The most overwhelmingly beautiful weddings we have ever experienced happened in dirty dresses or wrinkled suits or in the rain, with the wind whipping and people tearing up. Celebrating that out of every human being in the universe you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life dedicated to this other person and that person has also chosen to do the same with you is really beautiful. Next to that brilliant and spectacular fact, nothing else can hold a candle. So we will say it again and shout it from the roof tops: celebrate the things that are meaningful to you, not what everyone else says you have to do.
• Do something special that is only for the two of you. For instance, we are big fans of love notes. Some couples make these love notes their vows, but even if that’s not for you, write each other something special.  Take a few moments in the days leading up to the wedding and put down on paper how you feel about the other person. What makes you respect them? What inspires you about them? What’s that little thing they do that always makes you smile? On the morning of the wedding, share these notes with each other – or have it delivered to the other person. Maybe we incorporate this exchange into your first look, or you just take a moment before things get too hectic and read what the other person wrote you. When you’re on opposite ends of the aisle, or when you’re having your first dance as a married couple, think about those words and what a tremendous debt you have to this person – to love them the way they love you.
• Trust us. We’ve been to a lot of weddings. ? We know what’s about to happen and we can’t wait. We will probably cry too. (But don’t worry, we’ve learned how to work our cameras through the tears). We know what the really important moments are: The way he looked at you the first moment he saw you in your dress, the way your mother cried as you said your vows, or how your father’s voice cracked when he said he loved you.  The small peck on the forehead as you dance, the quick squeeze of the hand as you mingle amongst your friends and family, the big bear hug after the ceremony. We don’t need a checklist to know that these are the moments that matter most. When we show up on your wedding day we aren’t “the photographers,” we are Trevor and Kelly – and these are the moments that matter the most to us too. Your wedding day will be special not because of our talent, but because you are fearless in letting it all happen naturally.
• Be alone together at some point during day.  This is a celebration and we are most definitely going to party.  It also means that you will have very few moments to yourselves.  Whether it’s during your first look or we grab you for a few portraits at sunset, these moments can and should be private.  Let’s take a few moments alone and pull ourselves back into the gosh darn reality of the moment. A few quiet minutes together will be a cherished memory only you two have. Remember that scene in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty where Sean Penn sees the snow leopard and doesn’t take the picture? He says: “If I like a moment, for me, personally, I don’t like to have the distraction[s]… I just want to stay in it, right there, right here.” You deserve that moment and if you trust us, we will help you have a few of these during the day.
• Live each moment, don’t observe it. Few things will ever be as euphoric as this day. You’ve put so much effort into it.  You’ve planned for it, you’ve saved for it, you’ve got every one you love and care about deeply, and who cares deeply about you, all in the same room. During the day, don’t rush yourself or worry about the timeline. If you feel some stress coming on take a moment, look around and take a nice deep breath, stop and savor it. Remember to celebrate, hands-in-the-air-whoop-and-hollerin’ style. ? Everything around you is a celebration and that’s really just fantastic, isn’t it? (It is.)

That’s it folks. No big secret tricks here. Just a bunch of sappy anachronisms that are totally true.  Live in the present. Focus on eachother.  Roll with the punches. Have a beer. Dance your butts off.

It. Is. Going. To. Be. Great.

P.S. – If you’re planning your timeline, we have written a couple things about what you need to know about how how we shoot weddings. It’s also a great wedding planning article too.